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Thursday, July 31, 2008



I don't understand


Sometimes i try too hard to comprehend.
Could it be that I am expecting too much out of this?
Or could it be that I am afraid?


Could it be that I have turned into such a skeptic?
So much that I couldn't handle my thoughts all at once?


Perhaps there are things we'll never say ;
Perhaps this is the safest distance we'll ever stay.
With nothing more to expect.
& of course, nothing less..


It was like a dream, a beautiful one, at least to me.
my choice, it's still ain't clear.
make me stay hopefully,
at least you did for awhile & occasionally made me smile.
for times, i thought i was dumb,
for the other times, you made me felt you couldn't bring yrself to say..



('v') 心中的遺憾* 7:48 AM




Happy 17th Birthday To You, Yuwen!


May all your dreams come true
& a everlasting love with Hongru. :)


('v') 心中的遺憾* 7:42 AM

Wednesday, July 30, 2008



Rated: 8/10


Watched with Kenny & Co.
Seems rather entertaining & funny
but i don't understand Hokkien at all!
Was reading the subtitle throughout the show. :(


&& the show's touching too.
Nearly teared, lucky still manage to control it.


Somehow, it makes me think of those unhappiness.


***


I know no matter what i've done,
i can't be a good daughter of yours.
But at least, i know i've done my very best
to give you the best of all i can.


Sometimes you made me feel that,
I'm just a stranger to you.


Sometimes the things you've said,
hurt me deeply in my heart.


Yet i chose to keep quiet.
I hate quarreling with you
&& i don't feel good too.


I know i'm short-tempered
and i hate being nag by anyone.
I'm sorry for all the shouting i've caused.


Afterall, you're still placed in my heart as an important role.


('v') 心中的遺憾* 10:37 AM

Tuesday, July 29, 2008




HAPPY 20TH BIRTHDAY TO YOU! :D



Surprised by him:
knowing that i've drink alot,
he came down to fetch me without telling me.
Was surprised to see him outside.


He waited quietly outside alone
yet i didn't show any concern at all.
Guess i'm really too much this time round.
Sorry..


('v') 心中的遺憾* 6:33 PM

Monday, July 28, 2008



TheSpecialYou:


Fate came knocking on our door twice..


I don't understand what happen to us
or why you've turned away..
Yes, you're free to do as you like
But i've got something to say..


To me, it seems that we could go on forever.
So close were our hearts, and at ease.
So much did we share, yet the words never faltered.
So i thought as time did as it pleased.


Heard it in a dream that you would always loved me
and blessed the dream that ends but never dies.
Or so i thought..


How do you say goodbye to someone you love?
How do you make such a decision in the first place?
Life makes it for us.
Reasons and emotions don't go hand in hand
But our hand fitted nicely together until life told us otherwise..


Goodbye ;
It's such a cruel sounding word.
Like death ;
it plagues the mind of living.


Who's going to lay by my side till dawn?
Who's going to drive me around to wherever i wanted to?
Who's going to bring me around when i'm craving for food?
Who's going to make decisions for me when i'm confused?
Who's going to comfort me when i'm feeling down?
Who's going to be the one holding my hand as it age?

- I wonder..


Sometimes i wish the world was less of what it is..
LESS pretence ; MORE kindness.


Sometimes i wish reality was made more clearer
that you don't have to learn lessons through the painful ways.


Sometimes i wish to be more forgetful,
so that i could forgive easier.


Sometimes i wish i took a different path,
mayb life could be better.


For this route, i've shed much tears
But supremely, i'm glad it led me to you.


Knowing that you'll be going out with many girls,
going on dates and all,
the jealousy is still there..


I hope time heals everything
as people adapts, people do change. :)


I just hope those girls that you're dating,
sincerely loves you for your character
and not the wealth you have
or the car that you own.


I don't know what to say, don't know what to do ;
What i want & who to be my whom.


Words are just words.
Back at night, they sound so real.
Yet the next morning,
they sound like promises made decades ago..
Then you start to wonder if it was nothing but a dream.


Whenever i think about it,
it just hurt a little too much..
You'll never feel me ; not until it happens.


('v') 心中的遺憾* 7:12 PM

Sunday, July 27, 2008



IMISSYOU*
4years & it's still counting..





Went to browse thru some random people's blog
& i actually found out that they've lost someone close to them.


Couldn't believe that i actually spend almost an hour
reading all the post she wrote recently.
To be frank, my tears almost drop down while reading.
It really touched my heart..


&& i makes me think of someone closed to me ;
Someone whom i treasure the most ;
Someone who's always that important ;
Someone who never fail to cheer me ups whenever i'm down.


She's none other den my Dearest, Bebe. :D







The time spent with you is: UNFORGETTABLE


From being strangers to "hi-bye" friends ;
"Hi-bye" friends to being friends ;
Friends to Close friends ;
Close friends to Sisters ;
Then to what we are right now..







Days spent in school..







It reminds me of..


* the first day we went for lesson together
* writing letters to each other
* copying of homework/notes
* skipping of lessons
* shopping after lessons
* going to work at night
* not wanting to go home after work
* getting & falling out of love



We never fail to be together everyday.
Somehow, you have become part of my life.
Someone important, Someone whom i cherish alot.
Someone whom i don't wish to lose at all.
Not even once..




You'll never fail to
* cheer me ups whenever i'm feeling down
* accompany me to wherever i wanted to go
* accompany me to eat all the things i wanted to
* forget me whenever you're getting something
* cam-whore with me whenever i wanted to





The kisses you gave always melt my heart.






I love the way you
* irritates me
* making fun of me
* laughing out loud in the public with me
* giving me opinions


& not forgetting the place we went..






Remember..
We went to Genting & KL all of a sudden,
skipping our lessons & didn't went to work.


We even bring along our books,
telling ourselves,
we would study in the hotel room at night for our on-coming prelims.
Yet we've clean forgotten all about it.


All we did was..
EatPlayShopSleep*






We even bought a so-call "couple tee" for ourselves.
Your's : SuperMan ; Mine's : Wonder Woman.


&& the most memorial part is..







You accompanied me to Bangkok when i wanted to go badly..
You don't mind going with me without any plans
andd.. it's just the both of us..







Eat ; Shop & Club..


Spending all the money we have,
Enjoying ourselves to the max!




To Dearest:
When my world gets confusing,
frightening & even maddening,
i find myself looking for someone
who can help me feel grounded & feeling secure..
You'll always be here for me,
Consoling me, telling me everything's will be alright.


Likewise, i would like to do the same for you too.
Pls let me be there for you whenever you're feeling down/stressed.


A friend is someone with whom we can relax & hang out with,
Having fun & share our innermost thoughts,
Deep dark secrets, lofty & noble goals,
Or our hopes, joys & fears..


I feel warm & comfortable being with you.
You allows me to have a safe space to share my deepest thoughts & offer.
Without worry being judged, criticized
or made to feel silly for feeling the way i do..


Thanks a million!


Always bear in mind that,
I'm always here for you whenever you need me.
I'm just a call away..
I'm not letting go of this friendship no matter what.


& i hereby wish you & SK all the best! :)


I'll be praying hard for you
& everything's gonna be alright.
CHEERUPS*


('v') 心中的遺憾* 5:05 AM



INSOMNIA NIGHT AGAIN!


I've been sitting in front of my com for 6hours!
Stared blankly, doing nothing.


I'm supposed to be in my dreamland
yet i'm still awake at 2.45pm!
I don't know what-the-hell happen to me.


Feeling super emo all of a sudden when i reach home
&& there goes my sleeeeeppppppppp.. :(


Looking back at the sms-es you sent me, so loving.
(you should have deleted away long ago?)
Couldn't forget how we get to know each another in the first place,
How we met and how we chated in msn,
How you got my number and driving me out.


Everything was so clear inside my mind.
Each and every part of it..
Even every of our disagreements/arguments seems memorial to me.
Cause i know at the end of time, you're still my only love.


I admit, we do quarrel at times
but think from the other way,
We're trying to accept & understand each other well.
This shows concern as well.


Before you came into my life,
I never knew that i could love someone like this
and put in so much effort in changing & tolerating.


As far as i know,
I'm someone harsh, implusive, wilful, stubborn,
attitude, over-powering & doesn't take relationship so seriously.
What i want, i'll definately go for it
but i'll only think for myself & not others feeling.


You make me learn to give up choices & stubborn-ness for the one i love
and learn to appreciate things.
Though i'm not a perfect gf,
listening to you all the time
but think back,
I would certainly support you in whatever you do.


Giving up all my time just to see you,
accompanying you, be it, it's just a few hours.
I didn't make a noise/demand anything from you at all.
All i wish is to be with you, nothing else.
Unlike some other girls,
the things that I can only give you cannot be measure by monetary wise.


To that SpecialOne:
I know deep in my heart, my attitude sux to the max including my temper.
Everyone in this world has attitude & temper too.
However, it's all because of a word "Concern"


Looking back, i'm definately not a good gf of yours
but i did try my best to change when i'm with you for months.
I promise you i would wait for you
and i kept my promise without fail.
I hope you did see a change in me.


I haven't/never think of giving up inspite all the arguments we had,
why must you give up when someone is willing to walk thru obstacles with you in life,
going thru every ups & downs with you.
I don't mind, you without a car or even money
As long as we're happy being together is all that i ask for..
Is it that difficult?
Or is my expectations too high for you?



You hurt me deeply
& i accidently hurt someone's heart too.
I'm sorry, you know i don't mean it.


('v') 心中的遺憾* 5:05 AM

Saturday, July 26, 2008



I'm not what i appear to be..





You torn my heart into pieces ;
Pains inflicting on me each day passes by.


I'm deeply hurt & i believe you knew it too.
If you don't, den i'm here telling you now..


After soo longggg..
Still, you're the one i miss.


I have not given up, and yet I have no faith.
I can smile easily, but I hold more pain than anyone knows.
People will never understand how I feel.
HAIS*


I wanted to live my life to the fullest
because i'll never know what will happen next.
Perhaps, i might die & never get to see another tomorrow?
No one knows..


BUT something seems to be stopping me.
You just came out of my mind every moment
including all the things i did.
WHY?!?


Why do you see all the negative things in me?
Don't i have positive points too?
I'm trying my best to be & all i could do.
You knew it, don't you?


You know you're hurting me,
especially all the things you once said to me
& the way you're treating me now!
Why do you still choose it this way?


As i lie in bed at night, i'm imagining things how it used to be.
What am i to do with a broken heart?
I need some HEALING PILLS!


:(



P.S: I'm missing you badly, but what can i do?
The feeling's killing me inside
&& i just break down & cry..



('v') 心中的遺憾* 1:43 AM



26 July 2008
Went drinking agains
but this time round, it's at a coffee shop! -.-"


OMG~
we're getting more aunties & uncles already!
:X


It's not my idea going there laaa!


Actually we're supposed to be at Pasir Ris Park
to chill at one of the bar BUT it started to rain when we reached there.
&& they didn't want to travel far as it's quite late already.
That's how we ended up at a coffee shop drinking. -.-"


Yes, it's quite boring at first la.
but all of them have made the promise to accompany Severin
as he's not in a good mood.
So no choice la.


Everyone seems so emo at that time
& it affected me tooo..


:(



Severin & Xianqi


Xianqi's singing.
That explains why his face look so cramp.


Severin look so sad.
Hope everything's fine for him.
CHEER UPS! :)



FangFang, Severin & Xianqi + Kevin


They're trying to take photo,
Kevin just came in all of a sudden
wanting to be in the photo..


His face look damn fierce.
I guess he must be damn "HIGH" after losing so many rounds of 5ten.
:X



Perfect photo of them. :)

It's like... FINALLY lors!



& this is Fang Fang.

I guess..
He loves drinking beer... :)



Someone ask about us today
& it makes me think of all our sweet memories.
I feel so hurt yet i still got to act as if i've letted it go.


('v') 心中的遺憾* 1:42 AM

Friday, July 25, 2008



25 July 2008
MAHJONG & DRINKING SESSION ON FRI NIGHT!
(Life's getting boring..)



Them taken @ Jun Chao's house downstairs









That's what the both of them do when they're "HIGH"

:X



Hongru & Kenny





What are they doing? -.-"


(Tried uploading the video of them @ coffee shop but failed.
Didn't know why it always hang while uploading.
Will try agains when i'm free.)


How i wish, my gastric's fine
so i could drink as much as i want to..


Reality's too CRUEL!
i hate facing it..
Getting drunk would be a better choice.




There's nothing loneliness than feeling lonely in the middle of a crowd


('v') 心中的遺憾* 3:26 PM

Thursday, July 24, 2008




I don't feel good, somehow.
Feelings all over the place.


Suddenly, i realised i'm stuck at the same place,
thinking about the same old thing.


Back to square one.
I'm still nothing at all.


Why do i still place so much hopes onto it?


Many times, i reminded myself how pointless it is to be thinking about it,
to be even..
Got to restrain myself from typing too much.
You read my blog.


I've come to a point that i don't know if what i'm doing is right.
Slack every single day.
When everyone is out there playing, i'll be home sleeping.
When it's time for everyone to sleep, i'm actually playing/wasting my time.


My whole life is upside down.
I really feel damn pathetic..


('v') 心中的遺憾* 1:20 PM